eL-v 사랑해
Wednesday, May 18, 2011 8:42 AM

She speaks
guess nobody blogs nowadays..plainly too bz with their work or studies..or FB have taken over blogger world...haha

nth much said.life still goes on as we grow..
guess i lost it ytd...forgive me...i really had no intention but yet its killing me inside how I really feel..

ignorance, maturity, be the better person, self- control....i cant do it when ur like tat...


Wednesday, July 21, 2010 1:44 AM

She speaks
um..its been quite long since i updated tis blog..kinda miss it..haha
many things happen from the time of the previous post till now..

i grad!!!!!! Thank God..i was really really worried tat i cant grad but in the end God gave me a peace of mind saying that I pass...n ya..i pass..haha..
mission trip was great..gain many experience n ya i felt much closer to God n how He was using me n the rest for the mission trip..

so what we did in thailand?
1: Market Outreach

2: Kids Club (Karen Village, Khong Wilai, n a skol)

3: English Teaching
4: Door to door evangelization and prayer walk
5: Village visiting (Khampaeng Phet, Glass Blowing Village)

6: last but not least...makannnn!!
its been a good experience blessing others n being blessed by dem..hopefully will get another opportunity to go for another mission trip...hehe
the team..great job peeps..^^

last week, help Ps Roy to host a team from Korea..was so happy being able to host them.. followed them for their trip to orang asli n orphanage place..camera old d..need to buy new cam!! had to use my fon to take pictures..>.< haha
(will update more...sleep 1st)..haha

Monday, May 24, 2010 12:36 AM

She speaks
i've been sooo busy right after final exams...its really draining the juice out of me..
but looking forward to everything that God has install for me which I know that it is gonna be BIG...
by Your grace I'm saved and You loved me still the same now and always..Thank You =)

Mission Trip: DO pray for the team as the place we're goin is not tat safe.. thank you..hehe

fear God k..(yea im pointing at u)

happy living my life..hahaha...so much freedom...dere's no evil eyes starring at u watching ur every move n find it very wrong when its not..haha...

IF camp was so much funh...get to berbonding-bonding wif the cyberians more...angel mortal game has alot of trashing...guys are scary...hahaha...Pastor Sandra was awesome, shared about standing up to our faith n etc which inspire me alot n open up my eyes to many things..campus revo Ps David came to tok abt making a difference in the campus..so better do it n not just say it like sum person...i grad d so its making impact in working life..hehe..

ok..short update..gdnite..

Wednesday, May 12, 2010 2:35 PM

She speaks
fool me once shame on you
fool me twice still SHAME on u..

into the trash u will go wif ur stuffs...
n dere u will rot

Monday, May 10, 2010 8:28 PM

She speaks
n i have GRADUATE!!! hopefully..hahaha
last paper tis afternoon...it was crap so just praying hard that i'll graduate..=D
3 papers were fine 2 papers were blurgh..so just keep praying..hehe
now i can rot, play,watch all my dramas..weeee...im happy..=D

Sunday, May 09, 2010 12:47 AM

She speaks
Mummy!!!!! Happy Mother's Day!!

thanks for being my mum, for going through all the trouble to bear me n elys. i know both of us have been a pain. many buckets of tears have you poured out for us and I am sorry for not understanding why you scold us or beat us. truly you have been a great mother giving us things when daddy doesn't want to give us, taking us places when daddy dowan bring us..haha..but i appreciate you and love you.

(tears starting to roll down my cheek) hahahaha..T.T
but Thank You for being my MUM, mum..love you lots and cherish you always.

Monday, May 03, 2010 10:26 AM

She speaks
Your Inner Coward

1. You’re quite the eloquent type who always knows the right thing to say
2. And you use this to your advantage
3. You take everything for granted
4. You have a narrow perspective
5. A skewed view on life that’s defective
6. It doesn’t take a detective to see you clearly think this globe spins for you
7. You are not a man but a boy in a big guy body
8. Saying things the opposite of what you do
9. Too insecure to be yourself
10. So you hide and try to control

your just full of lies n deceit..so here's something for you..

You're a jerk, then and today
You're a jerk, for making me feel this way
For then and there, i felt nothing for you
But your smiles, your hugs, have me at loss of what to do

It kills me that I still can't let you go
But now, I ask of you,
Who is this benefiting, who?

Just by a glace, I'm already high,
But all hope dies when you just pass me by
A sliver in the heart, a crack in the sky,
I don't want this, can we just say goodbye?

Is it your intention, to use me like a doll,
Or do you not even notice at all?
Then at that, abide i can no longer do,
I wish I had never know you

You're a jerk, for treachery and deceit,
You're a jerk, the one I will defeat

To you I thought I was seen,
But obviously that was only a wishful dream
Black and white, the world I see,
With not a touch of grey, how could there be?

But as I write this
I'm still doubting
You might never read this
And you'd only think I was being dramatic

Now, even as I bid you adieu,
You will never be gone, in my dreams you will still be in view

You're a jerk, if I left, you wouldn't even wonder where I went
You're a jerk, I will never cry over you anymore,
You're a jerk, I will never look your way; I might die

You're a jerk, the one I hate, just look above,
You're a jerk, the one that I do not want to love anymore...

Sunday, April 25, 2010 8:28 PM

She speaks
oh God..pls let me grad!!!! tats all

Friday, April 23, 2010 1:19 AM

She speaks

just came back from my last CG of the academic year and probably my final CG in CF..
its been a wonderful journey wif all of u guys..
getting to know each and every1 of u and to really care for one another.
its been fun being in the same CG as u guys and i wish u guys all the best in everything..

Thursday, April 22, 2010 1:17 AM

She speaks


Assessing myself as I looked nowhere
Asking myself why I felt tormented
As well as of remorse thinking my fate
Endless acts of giving indeed been laid
A message to convey of your importance…

At times don’t want to think taken for granted
At times I felt it was all just an act from you
Trying to reciprocate my deeds as to repay
Just to pleased the promises only at first
But it was put aside once more until piled…

Courage I’m waiting for me to open-up
Reasons why I start to change of direction
Our friendship we built I want for keeps
But the feeling I have need to extinguish
I can’t imposed my rights for I really don’t have…

The fault is within me for I care too much
I give too much but I found myself hurt
High expectations I regard from your side
Deep within me I knew it is awkward
My thoughts for you now, its time to set it free


after much thought, i guess, i prefer being like tis, its much breath-able

probably im not ready myself too..i can give but i cant obey...sorry

mayb one day...who noes..when im really confident and able n willingly to follow...=)

Wednesday, April 21, 2010 2:37 PM

She speaks
last cf of the academic year and also mine (if i grad..haha)
so...ya...thx for the frenship, for the encouragement and for everything tat u guys had done..
its been a blessing to be part of your life..continue to Fight the good fight, finish the race and always keep the faith...God Bless =)

Forever Friends
you're my friend and that is true,
but the gift was given from me to you.
we went thru moments that were good and bad,
even moments that were happy and sad.
you suported me when i was in tears,
we stuck together when we were in fear,

its really sad that it had to be this way,
but it has reached its very last day.
miles away cant keep us apart,
'cause you'll always be in my heart.

love tis pic..sumthing bout it tat makes it lovely..probably the balloons but its lovely..haha

to my dearies,
thx for being patient wif me all these while
n also teaching me n guiding me alot..
u've been one of the most treasured people in my life
n i thank you for it..
all the best in ur future upcomings
n may the Lord be wif u where ever u go

u'll nvr knew it was important till u loose it

Tuesday, April 20, 2010 12:47 AM

She speaks
Loving this song after watching 'When in Rome' enjoy =)

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I would offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
There's no doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms of rage are rolling wild and free
Down that highway of regret
The wind of change is blowing wild and free
But you aint seen nothing like me yet

There aint nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the end of the earth for you
Make you happy make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love

To make you feel my love

Tuesday, April 06, 2010 12:18 AM

She speaks
yay..new blogskin..the previous wan got screwed up..haha neway..its nice..n simple..me liking it..haha not really sure how to do my own blogskin..oh well...
fyp done..weeeeeeeee im so happy...jsut need to let supervisor to check and can bind n be happy n go shopping n study..=(
sigh..miss the times when im just so carefree..now everything is abt datelines..

been finding for jobs now..but still no reply..nobody wan me...sobs sobs T.T oh well..pray hard hard will be able to find a gd job..heh..

hmm..wat shud i do now...gd nite peeps..hehe

Monday, April 05, 2010 11:12 AM

She speaks
tears flow from the eyes as i start thinking of a lot of things..
decisions that im scared to make...path that will somehow make me or break me..
at first I was glad but now, Im troubled..what is His plans for me..
Does He allow it? pray hard hard...
will I be able to continue this?

Monday, March 08, 2010 11:06 PM

She speaks
its school holiday now..for 1 week..
took flight back to pg...its my 2nd time sitting plane in my entire life, the first was when i was very young...the plane was shakey at first but it smoothen out after awhile..i like it..haha

back at home..its not a gd start to the holidays due to sum unforseen circumstances..but seeing my parents im very happy...i miss them very much...n daddy's cooking really lightens me up..wanna look forward to every meal tat he cooks...n guess wat?! daddy bought n97mini...OMG!! its like darn exp n i nvr thot he'll spend tat much on a phone but he did...n im liking the fon.haha..so as usual, i'll just browse thru here n dere trying to learn how to use it..so after getting use to it den i taught my dad how to use it..n he's so happy tat he gave me a kiss....*shy* dad has nvr gave me a kiss on his own will..hahaha its always i kiss him first den i'll ask for return kiss..haha so yea..im very happy..=D

hoping tat this holiday will be a gd one...happy holidays!!

Monday, February 08, 2010 4:28 PM

She speaks
many times it felt like this, but this time, it felt even worst..
u just dun know how much i want to be near u sharing everything..
i envy those people who are close with each other..
we have different characters that are just too impossible to comprehend..
well, i still remember tho during high school i wrote about you n i get an 'A' for it..
u don't know how much effort i put into it n what feelings did i felt when writing it...
it seem almost impossible to talk to u nowadays..
even your pet gets better treatment from you than i get..
but oh well, life's like this..u just have to sometimes we just have to brush it away n just let go..
someday, things will turn out just right..=)
but for now, i'm just not your better half..

Thursday, January 07, 2010 2:35 PM

She speaks
Do read this..eventho its long but do take time to read it..i cried while reading..=)

Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with us.

Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young. Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to a university degree.
You could say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today.

I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant greenery.
Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning round and round.

As I begged him to put me down, he said: "Lets go fetch mother." Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to test on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me into his pockets.

Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy.
I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.
Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her.
For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not stand it and would comment:
"I do not know how you young people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat flowers!" I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better."
Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled: "Mum, this is a city-people's habit; slowly you will get use to it."
Mother stopped saying anything. But every time thereafter, whenever came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs.
I told her and she would shake her head and express displeasure.
Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it.
Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it."
There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle.
Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast.
In your view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife?
At the breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like the dark clouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice.
She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest.

As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and am exhausted from along day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the protest mother makes.

From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon her help created additional work for me.
For example: she would keep all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and resulted in our house being filled with all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash them again.
One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and "Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room.
Hubby was placed in a difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire night.
I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me....

I got mad and asked him: "What did I do wrong?" Hubby stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her once? We couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean it is, right?"
After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house.
During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to who to please.
In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on the ' all important ' task of preparing breakfast without any prompting.
At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to perform my duty as a wife.
To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work.
That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me:
"LD, is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not to eat at home?"
He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me.
After some time, hubby sighed: "LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?"
I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table.
The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat.
I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I could not. I threw down the bowl, rushed into the washroom, and vomited everything out..
Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes...
I opened my mouth but no words came out of it, I really did not mean it.
We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house.
Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs.
For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call.
I was so furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up with her, what else do you want me to do?
For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was at then low point in my life..
Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible; you should go and see a doctor."
The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant.
Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news.
Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day?
At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there..
It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him.

He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart.
I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab.
At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me around in circles of joy.
What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down.
Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight?
Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes.
I cried and wet the corner of the blanket.
That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up.
I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face.
He was removing the money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and left the house.
Maybe he really intends to leave me for good.
What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters.
I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again.
The next day, I did not go to work. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with hubby.
I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird look and said:
"Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital."
I stood there in shock.
I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away.
Hubby did not look at me, his face was expressionless.
I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the tears in my eyes.
My god, how could this happen?
Throughout the funeral, hubby did not say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare at me.
I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people.
That day, after mother left the house, she walked in dazed toward the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the countryside.
As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her....
I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarreled, if....
In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother.
Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong liquor smell on him.
And me, I am buried under the guilt and self-pity and could hardly breathe.
I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in.
I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at all.
Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby came home later and later..
The deadlock between us continues, we were living together like strangers who don't know each other.
I am like the dead knot in his heart.
One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass window, I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very lightly brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant.
After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes.
I have nothing to say to him, and there is no need to say anything.
The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby stretched out his hand and stopped her.
He stared back at me,challenging me.
I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the brink of death.
I eventually backed down, if I had stood that any longer, I will collapse together with the baby inside me.
That night, he did not come home; he had chosen to use that as a way to indicate to me: Following mother's death so did our love for each other.
He did not come home anymore after that.
Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched - he had returned to take some of his stuff.
I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain everything to him vanished.
I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife through the physical examination.
My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them " No, I will not.. "
I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death.
One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room.
The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke.
On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper.
I know what it is all about without even looking at it.
In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within myself.
I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I will sign."
He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine..
As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry...." my eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears come out from there.
After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pulled the paper towards me..
Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to him. "LD, are you pregnant?"
Since mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I could not control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops.
I said: "Yes, but its ok, you can leave now."
He did not go.
In the dark, we sat, facing each other.
Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket.
In my heart, everything seems so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach them.
I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me.
I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't.
In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever.
We have drawn such deep scars in each other's heart.
For me, it's unintentional; for him, totally intentional.
I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone past is gone forever and could not repeated.
Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth to my heart, I am totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything he buys for me, I don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him.
From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart.
Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom, but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room.
He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room.
At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet.
This used to be his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh.
He has forgotten that last time I cared for him and am concerned because there was love, but now, what is there between us?
Hubby's groaning came on and off continuing but I continuously ignored him.
Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant products, children products and books that kids like to read.
Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full.
I know he is trying to use this to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his actions.
He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing but none of that matters to me anymore.
It was sometime towards the end of Spring in the following year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, its like he did not change and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment.
He carried me and ran down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brow, throughout the journey to the hospital.
Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite.
Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind:
In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did?
He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in; his warm eyes caused me to manage a smile at him despite my contraction pain.
Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son and me, eyes tear with joy and he kept smiling.
I reached out and touched his hand.. Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor.
I cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired eyes of his...

I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that moment.
Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long.
I asked the doctor when he first discovered he had cancer. Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying:
"Prepare for his funeral."

I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I went into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hits me.
Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and
I had thought that... the computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our son:
"Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you before I fall, is my biggest wish now...
I know that in your life, you will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice would it be..
But daddy now no longer has that chance.

Daddy has written inside here all the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's suggestion....
Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have accompanied you through life journey.
To be honest, daddy is very happy.
Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most....
" From play school to primary school, to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was written there.
Hubby has also written a letter for me:
"My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby....
My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you for loving me...
These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every year, the dates on what to give when are all written on the packaging... "
Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma.
I brought our son over and place him beside him.
I said: "Open your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your arms..."
He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile.
Our son still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I press the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly rolled down my face.....
A fatal misunderstanding and the person who loves me the most in this world is gone forever...
"Cruel misunderstandings one after another disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family.
Our original intend of having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went terribly wrong as destiny's secret is finally revealed at a price, every thing became too late.".......

This is a true story.
LEARNING POINT - DO NOT EVER HOLD ON TO GRUDGES. I am totally speechless, this story brought tears to my eyes as I read through each line eager to know what would happen next. It truly showed the devastating power of grudges and anger!
Simple humility and communication would have resolved most of the problems in that story, as well as patience.....
This story has really touched my heart and life as a whole and it has stimulated a paradigm shift.
Though it is very sad, it is also very refreshing to know that from today, I can consciously start to live a life free of grudge.
In life, offenses are inevitable.

But holding a grudge is a choice we consciously make. Learn to LET GO....
To forgive others is to forgive YOURSELF. No one's perfect.
Communication is the key. It is never toooooo late to be friends.....

Saturday, January 02, 2010 9:21 PM

She speaks
Merry Christmas n Happy New Year!! sorry for the late shout out..been very lazy to update..haha
neway..quick update..

2nd sem finish...gave a surprise to parents on christmas eve by coming back a day earlier..haha boy dey were so surprise..haha
dad did christmas lunch for his cg n frens...lotsa yummy-licious food..heh

uncle enjoying his food..haha.
to those who luv pork..lotsa fat...

so lets do summary wat happen in 2009...lotsa ups n downs..mostly downs..so hopefully 2010 will be a more happier year for me..*praying praying*

CNY...no pics..
mummy bday...

oh oh..my bday
first ever birthday cupcake..yummy-licious..
esther lee cg ^^

March - April nth much happen...

Seremban road trip wif cg...

n final year student bai bai...

Final year d....sobs..
moved in with esther siow darling..

new friendship been made..

freshies..welcome to mmu..juniors that gave so much encouragement when u see them..dey're sho cute...hehe..

new cg...JZ-C.E.L.U.P.

1st time playing paintball..

Bethel Church..

Mlk Camp...

MMU convo

end of internship...sobs..

Paradise Band..

Genting wif Debbie...

Langkawi wif family...

ACT3 "Run Isaac"
n Merry Christmas..

so guess tats it..memories tat will be treasured...heh..bad things will happen just let it go but keep the sweet memories..=)
gonna grad soon iin few more months..sigh..lets not think bout tat yet..
i'll stop here for now..
till then..bb...=p

Tuesday, December 01, 2009 8:55 PM

She speaks
your HEART is just so fragile..
that if just a touch to it will just break it..
its just too fragile that if it is left alone, it will turn to BLACK instead of red.
too fragile tat it should be taken real good care for.
* * *
assignments - 90% done
fyp - 30% done
going to die - 100%
dreading tis sem..its just too much to handle..
but i guess God pulled me thru to alot of stuff n i thank Him so much..
can't wait for the sem to end..miss my parents..
i guess dad's having his happy time now in India helping out in the Paralympic team..hope he buy sum gd stuff from India..
5 more mths to grad..dunno y m i counting but 5 more months....ahhhh...
no more poodlevina wahahahahhaha....
treasuring most of my life n the things i have too bits..heh
all smiles..=)

Yours truly,

With love♥

Just a simple girl living the life that she wants to.

With Loves,

1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Scream Love,

Always Be Happy